Pittsburgh 10

I wrote my last post right as I was transitioning from total discouragement to a smidgeon of excitement (over both of which conditions, I might add, God is sovereign and good). Here's a few of things of things I'm looking forward to in Pittsburgh:

1. Being a Tartan. The warriors were less than ingenious, the anteaters a curiosity, but Tartans- well. Thank you, Ana, for pointing the mascot out to me.

2. The Explorers Club. Based on the name, I was hoping it to akin to the Oxford University Exploration Club, which focused helping people get both ideas and funding for amazing trips all over the world. While that doesn't seem a fair comparison, they do go scuba diving. In Pennsylvania. Hm.

3. Being somewhere new. I've been waiting two years. I'm ready.

4. Cold. I've been waiting 23 years. Ok, maybe not quite that long. But I'm ready for real weather, along with...

5. ...Seasons

6. Moving to the other side of the country and still having access to Trader Joe's and REI. 'tis a mystery to me how people survived thousands of years (ok not the same people- you know what I mean) without them.

7. Starting Pittsburgh's first sailing club.

8. St. Paul Cathedral

9. Going to a place where I don't know anyone, and finding a group of believers with whom to worship.

10. Seeing more and more of God's faithfulness. Getting in to grad school has been one of the greater tests of faith in my life. God said to go to Pittsburgh; I'm excited to see why.

Eight

Eight months.

Eight schools.

Eight rejections.

Last August I changed my mind about taking time off after undergraduate and started working in earnest towards graduate school. The first months were spent figuring out what I wanted to devote myself to within bioengineering. Answer: neural tissue engineering. The next months were spent deciding which schools to apply to and completing applications (a nightmare of a task if there ever was one). Answer: UW, UPenn, UPitt, Harvard, Yale, Brown, Georgia Tech, and Carnegie Mellon, plus the National Defense Science and Engineering Fellowship. 

Your love endures forever.

On February 6, at 6:14PM, I was accepted to CMU. I was ecstatic- motivated and excited for grad school, confident in the next five years.

Your love endures forever.

In the two months since then, I have been turned down from every single other application I submitted. Eight letters saying Thanks but no thanks. Grad school apps are--apparently--a humbling experience. It has become most apparent that I am not in control of my future. This has been two of the most humbling months at the end of two of the most difficult years of my life, and I'm guessing it's exactly what I need(ed). A time of learning to say Thy will be done, of learning to walk palms up.

Your love endures forever.

Who knows, God still might have something else in mind. I wouldn't be surprised, because I'm (slowly) learning that He is, in fact, both sovereign and good. No matter where I am this fall, not matter what I'm studying or who I'm working with, it can be good. I'm (slowly) learning that when I offer something up to God, invariably it turns out good. Rarely easy, rarely what I wanted, rarely what I expected, but Good.

Your love endures forever.

As Bilbo once said, "I think I'm quite ready for another adventure."