Lab protocols in haiku, part 1

What if all the protocols I work off of and write were in haiku? Maybe they'd look something like this:

subclone dna
transfect into hela cells
measure fluorescence

It would make them that much easier to remember. And I'd be that much more distracted.

R

Apartment move

I finally moved apartments, something I've been looking forward to for a long time. The current state of my kitchen:

About normal, really.

I thought this picture an interesting reflection of my life:

Wallet: home made in 3rd grade
Coffee cup: because a strong cup of coffee on a saturday makes the world a better place.

Demitasse: because American coffee is good, but Italian is even better.

Candles: for my aesthetic sensibilities
RC car: because (not diminishing those aesthetic sensibilities) yes, this is a bachelor pad.
Pile of garbage: my backpack was long overdue for a cleanout.
Toolbox: containing the basic necessities for putting together Ikea furniture. And, of course, duct tape.
Socks: so I can wear my flops to work, and my lab shoes at work.
Duster: for the annual cleaning.
Coffee table: $10 from another grad student.

Accidental insight

I enjoy the suggestions Google makes for me as I type in the search box. Normally they're helpful, sometimes they're entertaining, and sometimes (assuming the suggestion algorithm is based on query frequency), they provide some insight into the "average internet user." If news and YouTube comments were reflective of the average person, the average person would be an idiot. Google queries are more accurate, but I'm yet sure just how much. Start typing "people without," and these are the top suggestions:

- belly buttons
- health insurance
- emotions
- fingerprints
- a conscience
- friends
- eyebrows
- arms legs

Numbers, part 2

- If you spend $1.50 a day on coffee, that'll add up to $25,000 over 50 years.
- If you sneeze once a day, that adds up to about 30,000 sneezes over a lifetime.
- If you spend 10 minutes a day reading blogs, that adds up to some 200+ days over a lifetime that you could have spent doing something more interesting.

Hm.

A day in the life

7:30: alarm goes off
7:35: alarm goes off
7:40: alarm goes off. get up. check weather, news, email.
7:45: bathroom and dress. avoid shaving (possible). avoid clothes (not possible).
7:55: breakfast while making lunch and coffee
7:15: pack up. brush teeth. feed Shark (beta fish). go to car. go back to apartment to get whatever i forgot. go back to car.
7:20: tune ipod. usually a podcast from ROCKHARBOR or Mars Hill Church. "redemptive commuting."
7:50: arrive at cubicle sweet cubicle. check email. plan day.
8:00-6:00: work. about 1/3 research work in cubicle, 1/3 lab work, 1/3 class work. eat lunch while working, but take multiple shorter breaks. research work centers around journal articles. lab work involves subcloning plasmids and growing bacteria and tumor cells (both ironically difficult to keep alive). class work involves facebook, gchat, xkcd, and the occasional textbook.
8:30: coffee
9:00: snack
10:00: meet with advisor. realize i did everything wrong. consider quitting PhD.
11:00: lunch 1
12:00-1:00: hold office hours. encourage nervous students. terrorize overly confident students. try to sound like I know what I'm talking about ("well, that problem is so simple, why don't we try this other one..."). get free food and coffee in exchange for homework answers.
1:30: coffee
2:30: lunch 2
3:30: falling asleep. go for a walk. get coffee. turn on Pandora.
4:00: snack
5:00: plan how I'm going to get a great idea to save the world, start a company, get bought out by J&J, and retire to the south of France.
6:00: realize I can save a day if I transfect some cells now.
7:00: go home. hungry. get dinner. check email.
9:00: talk to girlfriend.
11:00: shower. prayer. read McCollough's 1776. glad i don't live in the 18th century. sleep.
1:00am: wake up to neighbors. again. 1:30: back to sleep.